A Room of One’s Own: Reclaiming Your Identity After Loss

We started this journey by acknowledging the weight a home can carry after loss. Then we stepped gently into those “tough corners”—the emotionally charged spots we’ve learned to avoid. We saw that showing up, even for ten minutes, can start to shift the stuckness.

That clearing work is essential. But it opens the door to a quieter question: now that there’s space, what—or who—is it for?

There’s a moment in grief that isn’t loud, but it lingers. It’s when you start to ask, Who am I

in this house now?

When your life has been built in tandem with someone else, the home reflects that shared identity. The routines, the objects, the compromises—all say “we.” And when that shared life ends, the space doesn’t always know how to catch up. It can feel off—either too quiet or too familiar in ways that no longer fit.

This is the beginning of something fragile but essential: the return of self, not with big declarations, but with small questions. Your home can be a good place to ask them.

The Shift from “We” to “Me”

It’s not unusual to feel like a guest in your own home after a loss. The photos, the furniture, the habits—they hold a past you’re still living beside. You don’t need to rush to change that. But there might come a day when you want your surroundings to reflect who you are now.

This isn’t about erasing. It’s about remembering yourself.

You might paint a wall a color they never liked—but you always did. You might choose a chair that fits your body, not just the room. You might let yourself play music you haven’t heard in years, just because it feels like yours.

Making Space to Hear Yourself Again

Design here isn’t about what looks good. It’s about what feels aligned. When your space reflects you, it grounds you. It becomes a place that holds you, not just your history.

Start with a room. Or a corner. Somewhere that isn’t shared or “practical”—just yours. A reading nook, a workspace, a chair in the light. It doesn’t need a plan. It just needs to feel true.

Questions to Sit With as You Reclaim Space

• What part of my home feels like mine?

• What colors or textures do I gravitate toward right now?

• Is there a space I avoid—not because it’s painful, but because it doesn’t fit who I am now?

• If I were designing this house just for me, what’s one thing I’d do differently?

You Don’t Have to Change Everything

This isn’t about a complete redo. It’s about letting your space shift as you do. To say, “I’m still here. I’m still becoming. And I deserve to be supported by the home I live in.

If you’re starting to wonder who you are now and how your home can help reflect that, let’s explore. We can find that room of your own together.